A Guide To Procrastination 

Hi, people. Today's post is about procrastination. Now according to google procrastination is "the act of delaying or postponing something". I'll tell you its real definition. Actually, I'll do that a bit later , for now, here's a guide how to procrastinate properly and on the type of procrastinations. 

  The Art of Procrastination 

Disclaimer      

My  dear reader, the guide you're about to read may change your life for the worse. If it does, I'm not responsible.           

Part-1

(This guide is of two parts.)

This part will go through on how to procrastinate. Let's begin.

The art of procrastination is not a simple one. It requires an idle mind, a simple body and lots and lots of courage, for after you start procrastination there is no stopping. 

First you must find something unproductive or mildly amusing to do. It may be playing video games, lying about in your bed or even simply reading other people's posts on how to procrastinate.

Second-Once you've found something utterly useless but fulfilling you must continue to do it.

Third- Keep on continuing the Second step until you remember something important to do.

Fourth- This is the most important step. Once you've remembered something important to do, don't do it. Simply do not do it. Tuck that important thing in the back of your mind and concentrate on the useless thing that you're doing. Proceed to reassure your self you will do that important thing "later".

Do not define "later". 

Fifth- Now when the importance of the important thing dawns on because of how important it is and you realise you only have a few moments to do that important thing, you do that important in the few moments you have.

Sixth- Good job! You have successfully procrastinated.

 

Part-2

Here, I'll be talking about the types of procrastination. You see, there are several types of procrastinations that vary from person to person. Some prefer to procrastinate with video games(one of my favourites) and some prefer to procrastinate by thinking random shit at times when they are not supposed to be thinking random shit. People's personalities can also be judged by how they procrastinate. So, here we go.

The Types of Procrastinations 

(These aren't all of them, just the common ones.) 

1) Procrastination by Videogames- This is when you want to play Videogames even if you've won the lotto, postponing a lot of money just for another round of 1v1 in Halo. These sort of procrastinators are very introverted and sometimes even shy. They have a few friends but not many.(Note this does not apply to everyone. Just a majority of people I have observed.)

2)Procrastination by Internet- Same as procrastination by Videogames but you just browse the web or check your Instagram every other second. The people who procrastinate like this are usually extroverted, they prefer multi-tasking, talking to others while they're procrastinating using their phones.

3)Procrastination by Existensialism- Ah, my favourite way to procrastinate. You basically spend your 

time thinking about all of existence and other philosophical thoughts. You usually ponder over-pondered questions like "What is my purpose"? or "Why do I exist"?. You are introverted by quite smart, not in a herdy sort of way thought.

4) Procrastination by Sleep- You just go to sleep to avoid important but tiring or unpleasant things you need to do. This type of procrastination says nothing about your personality.

Well, those are all the COMMON types of procrastinations, there are more but they're too many so I won't list them all. This ends this guide.

                                                         

  

  

Things That Should Be Invented Before I Die

Hi, people. As a teenager living in the 21st century I have a lot of,expectations on the advancement of technology to futuristic standards. Basically what I mean is I want hover boards and I want them now, motherfucker! Curse you Back To The Future, you lied to me. But anyhow here's a list of things that should  be invented before I die(hopefully that's a long time from now.). A lot of the mentioned technologies have currently been invented but they need a lot of improvements before they actually become futuristic, so I'm not counting them to be truly "invented" yet.

Virtual Reality

Who doesn't want Virtual Reality? I mean you just put on a heavy looking headset and you can be anywhere you want doing anything you want. Currently virtual reality technology sucks. The best we've come up with is Google Cardboard and Oculus Rift. Both of them are rip-offs which only offer an immersive visual experience whereas I want an experience of all senses. But it is speculated that that sort of virtual reality will come in about 20-25 years.

J.A.R.V.I.S

Yes, I want an artificial intelligence to be invented which is comparable to J.A.R.V.I.S. An intelligence which is capable of being a smart-ass and also being intensely sarcastic. I know some A.I are capable of conversation but an A.I which was like J.A.R.V.I.S would be cool.

Instant Memory Transfer Machines

Imagine machines, which could transfer one persons memories to another person. Like copying a file from one pen drive to a computers hard disk. Then, theoretically, the human race could advance at rates never known. Imagine if Stephen Hawkings transferred his memories to a baby, then the baby helped the advancement quantum physics and before the baby(now an adult) died he transferred his memories to someone else. Now this new guy gave his memories to a bunch of other people, now we would have a bunch of Stephen Hawkings(and Babies) working together for lightspeed travel or something. These machines can increase our efficiency by a lot which I think is very cool.

Smart Food

You know what would be really, really useful? Portable pills which you could have at any moment, giving you the nutrients of a full meal and the taste of all the items in the meal for a total of 30 minutes. I know people would probably get obese because of these pills, but thats their fault.

My First Post

Look, I was trying to think up for a nice title for my first post but nothing original came to me (its because other adults have already gotten their hands on the original shit and this generation is left with rip offs of the originals). But back to my first post. This is my first post if you haven't guessed yet, and might I add, if you haven't actually already noticed this is my first post you're fucking stupid.  I am a teenager who has recently decided to upload his thoughts up to the Internet so random strangers can read them. I also have a case of procrastinating paired with existentialism, which in other words means that I usually tend to lie about thinking about why I exist and shit like that. I also try to be "original" but most original things are a)copyrighted or b) just fucking stupid. I don't want to be stupid. So that's a bit about me and as I said before, this is my first post. This looks a bit plain because I'm typing from an iPad and iPads never get things right.