My Bucket List 

   Hi, people. I have been inspired by quite a few people (mainly a bunch of my friends and Gingerbread Girl, she's a blogger, https://gingerbreadgirl97.wordpress.com;check her blog out) to create a great bucket list which will sort of be like a time capsule to my older self. It'll give him something to cringe at when he will be bored. See, I'm thinking ahead so I don't have to bored in the future and I can entertain my self on the past. Here we go:

1. I want to taste Tiramisu (it's a really good Italian dessert.)

2.I want to drink a can of beer(I wanna see why adults like it so much.)

3.I want to see the stars on a night where our pollution doesn't block them out

4.I want to solve a serious mystery 

5.I want to have Coke and Mentos at once

6.I want to learn to shoot a basketball with an accuracy rate of 90% from 10m of the basket

7.I wanna fire a gun

8.After firing a gun,I wanna shoot a water melon, capture it in slo mo

9.Then I would like to eat the watermelon I shot

10.Start or work at a legitimate business and earn some dosh.

(Side note: I'm not gonna add obvious things like "Have sex" or "Kiss a girl" because they're pretty obvious as stated earlier.)

11.Read and enjoy some not-so-well-known author's book

12.Collaborate with other strangers on the Internet on a project

13. Get a pen pal

14. Write a book

15.Proceed to publish the book

16.Invest in stocks

17.Aquire a flamethrower

18.Throw cake at someone 

19. Get cake thrown at my self

20. Go to Greece

21.  I would also like to go to Coratia.

22. Get a degree in psychology, law and quantum mechanics at once

23.Get kicked in the nuts( DONT ASK ME. JUST DONT. I haven't been kicked in my softies yet and I'm curious.)

24.Punch someone annoyingly sarcastic in the face 

25. Actually use Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious in a sentence in real life.

26. Watch anime for 24 hours straight

27. Join a band as the singer/pianist

28. Do something ridiculously dangerous

29. Survive a major natural catastrophe 

30. Break a bone. (I know it sounds like a painful thing to be on a bucket list, but I haven't broken a bone yet, and I want to experience it.)

31. Go paragliding 

32. Prove that the answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is 42 (if you got that reference you have my permission to be my best friend)

33.Prove a teacher wrong in multiple occasions 

34. Make a homemade tazer 

35.Use the homemade taser

36.Successfully pick my own house's lock

37. Tell a random stranger that his car looks cool(no matter how shitty it may be)

38. Use a pan for playing table tennis.(DONT BOTHER ASKING ME)

39. Adopt a dog

40. Create my own video game

41. Make a viral video

42. And at last, enjoy life

That's all guys. You can talk to me about stuff at this address: seldomincognito9000@gmail.com

Sayonara for now.

My Friend    

Hi, people. Today I'm going to talk about my friend. He isn't my best friend neither is he my only friend. He is just a friend. I'll just talk about his personality and what makes him so... unusual. Unusual as in his personality and his habits. His "unusualness" can be seen both as a bane and boon (Huh, boon is a very fun word to say aloud. I just discovered that.)

Oh and a side note- I'm not criticising my friend, I'm pointing out unusual qualities in him.

So, let's begin with his personality. He is a bit like Rowley Jefferson (from Diary of A Wimpy Kid, if you haven't read it, go do so, it's a great way to understand teens). This is how Rowley is portrayed :

                                                                               

Physically speaking my friend is the exact opposite of Rowley. Mentally speaking my friend is the exact of copy of him. He is naive, easily manipulated and incapable of making his own choices, always asking for advice for following others. He is also a complete idiot. Okay, that was a bit harsh. But anything that involves a higher use of logic, my friend messes it up completely. For example, chess. My friend can be beaten by a child of fourth grade at chess- no joke, he's been actually beaten by a fourth grader IN FRONT OF ME. So you say, "he sucks at chess, big deal" well how when he fails at simple tasks like folding his clothes or tying his laces? That's when you know there's a problem.

But the amazing thing is, my friend although being stupid, manages to complete the toughest of maths problems, within minutes. My reaction to that is "HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU BEATEN AT CHESS BY A FOURTH GRADER, BUT YOU SOLVE THAT HARD ASS PROBLEM IN 32 SECONDS?" and to that he says " I dunno". My friend is a literary genius. He also is an extreme introvert. He doesn't care about his social status at all. He himself has only has 2 to 3 friends. He is really materialistic as well, caring only about money and what he will buy with it. He doesn't think about the long term and only about the short term. And the weirdest thing of all is he doesn't show any interest in girls. He might be gay and I have nothing against it, but when I bring it up in a conversation he starts hitting me. He also gets bullied a lot and depends on me, always, to help him.

But on the other hand he is creative as fuck. I mean damn he gets new ideas every other second, though they might be stupid, but still it's impressive how many original things he can come up with. 

As mentioned before, he is great at maths and every other subject but for some reason his logical reasoning is below zero. He isn't afraid to embarrass himself in front of others because he doesn't really care what others think about him. Well that's all his nice qualities, anyways.

I'll let you judge what sort of friend he is. But is having a stupid yet true friend worth it?

 My Escapisms

Hi, people. Sometimes when I'm sitting in the car and my favourite song is playing on the radio I stare out of the window and I imagine my self somewhere else, somewhere better, where I could be anyone and do anything, where I could pursue my dreams, and succeed without having to taste failure.A place where I  was god, but I didn't know it. Does this ever happen to you, reader? I actually get joy from these escapisms, and when the car ride stops so does the joy. I'm jerked back into reality where I'm just a normal boy, living with absolutely normal parents and having a normal life. The funny thing is that, I can't go into my escapisms anywhere else but when I'm on the backseat of a car.

I find this irritating as we only take short trips in the car and so my escapisms don't last long.

I understand that reality is much more important than some silly place in my mind and I should work towards making my escapisms a reality, but it's just too hard to do so. I'm just a child and I have dreams of achieving so much, but I'm strapped to a rock (metaphorically, of course) because of my laziness. They say that the first step to solve a problem is to know what the problem is. I know my flaw is laziness, but I'm too lazy to fix it. Its a vicious circle, one that is nearly impossible to overcome. But I try, and I fail, and I keep trying to break through my godforsaken fear of work.

But my escapisms have given me something much more than reality can ever give me. It is sort of like a super power. I see this world differently, not from my own eyes but the from the point of view of others. Just by paying attention to little details about a person, seeing what he sees , noticing what he does, I learn so much about them. It enables me to understand them, to know them, to predict their actions and to manipulate them. Manipulation sounds like a bad thing to do to a person, and it is, but in certain conditions I'm forced to.

Other people see me as a smart, yet introverted person. They think I'm a nerd or a geek and they try to pick fights with me and try to insult me but they themselves end up beaten or insulted. I'm not a loner either, I've got a quite a few friends, whom I like. Others see me as completely normal but I see them for what they are and for what they stand for in this world, and it's all because of my escapisms.

So, what exactly happens in my escapisms? Well it's hard to explain, but you know that anime, Sword Art Online? In that anime they use a headset to send the main character's consciousness into a virtual world. But for me the virtual world is created by my brain. Everyone that I know that world has their own unique personality, every problem that I face in that world has a unique solution. What a computer would need hundreds of gigabytes worth of RAM to do my brain does without any strain.

Escapism isn't a bad thing, as long as you can understand what is reality and what is a dream, and as long as you work towards those dreams. I would like to conclude this post with a quote by JRR Tolkien:  " the only people who inveigh against escape are jailers."

Things Wrong With Fruit Juices    

I know. This seems like a weird topic to write about but, seriously, if you think deep about it you'll realise that there is something wrong with that healthy Guava Burst with extra electrolytes you've been drinking. And  I'm not talking about fruit juices in general, no, I'm talking about BRANDED fruit juices( I'm looking at you Tropicana).

So the first thing I notice after I drink a branded fruit juice, is the fact that it tastes ABSOLUTELY nothing like the fruit juice you get from making a normal juice at home. Look, suppose you make some apple juice at home by squeezing apples and collecting the juice, and then you taste it. Now after that you taste a branded apple juice and you mind will be completely blown at how different the branded apple juice tastes! In fact you might find that it even tastes worse than the homemade one. I know the taste differs because of all the preservatives they use in the branded juice, but for fucks sake at least get the taste right, fruit juice companies!

That's not it, yet. Have you ever taste Tropicana's Mango flavour? HAVE YOU? It's taste is outrageously wrong. It tastes nothing like mangoes, infact, its completely shit. It's as if someone got a thick mixture of mud and sugar and proceeded to add a bunch of preservatives in it!

And don't even get me started on what some brands are making juices out of. Never mind I got me started myself. Some brands like Vitro Naturals have started making and selling juices of bitter apples. If you don't know what a bitter apple is, its this:

 Yeah, companies are making juices out of this shit, and the worse part? PEOPLE ACTUALLY DRINK IT. Now if you haven't tasted a bitter apple yet, it tastes bitter. Agonizingly bitter. So bitter it will numb your tongue for the next few days. And people drink juices of this shit.

The last point that I would like to make is how much cheaper it would be if we would actually make our own juices(that came out wrong) and would stop buying shit from large brands. I did some research and found that it takes 2 apples to make 250 ml of juice which costs much less than buying 250 ml of juice from a brand.

<Exhales> That was a good rant. I feel good now.



                          

A Guide To Procrastination 

Hi, people. Today's post is about procrastination. Now according to google procrastination is "the act of delaying or postponing something". I'll tell you its real definition. Actually, I'll do that a bit later , for now, here's a guide how to procrastinate properly and on the type of procrastinations. 

  The Art of Procrastination 

Disclaimer      

My  dear reader, the guide you're about to read may change your life for the worse. If it does, I'm not responsible.           

Part-1

(This guide is of two parts.)

This part will go through on how to procrastinate. Let's begin.

The art of procrastination is not a simple one. It requires an idle mind, a simple body and lots and lots of courage, for after you start procrastination there is no stopping. 

First you must find something unproductive or mildly amusing to do. It may be playing video games, lying about in your bed or even simply reading other people's posts on how to procrastinate.

Second-Once you've found something utterly useless but fulfilling you must continue to do it.

Third- Keep on continuing the Second step until you remember something important to do.

Fourth- This is the most important step. Once you've remembered something important to do, don't do it. Simply do not do it. Tuck that important thing in the back of your mind and concentrate on the useless thing that you're doing. Proceed to reassure your self you will do that important thing "later".

Do not define "later". 

Fifth- Now when the importance of the important thing dawns on because of how important it is and you realise you only have a few moments to do that important thing, you do that important in the few moments you have.

Sixth- Good job! You have successfully procrastinated.

 

Part-2

Here, I'll be talking about the types of procrastination. You see, there are several types of procrastinations that vary from person to person. Some prefer to procrastinate with video games(one of my favourites) and some prefer to procrastinate by thinking random shit at times when they are not supposed to be thinking random shit. People's personalities can also be judged by how they procrastinate. So, here we go.

The Types of Procrastinations 

(These aren't all of them, just the common ones.) 

1) Procrastination by Videogames- This is when you want to play Videogames even if you've won the lotto, postponing a lot of money just for another round of 1v1 in Halo. These sort of procrastinators are very introverted and sometimes even shy. They have a few friends but not many.(Note this does not apply to everyone. Just a majority of people I have observed.)

2)Procrastination by Internet- Same as procrastination by Videogames but you just browse the web or check your Instagram every other second. The people who procrastinate like this are usually extroverted, they prefer multi-tasking, talking to others while they're procrastinating using their phones.

3)Procrastination by Existensialism- Ah, my favourite way to procrastinate. You basically spend your 

time thinking about all of existence and other philosophical thoughts. You usually ponder over-pondered questions like "What is my purpose"? or "Why do I exist"?. You are introverted by quite smart, not in a herdy sort of way thought.

4) Procrastination by Sleep- You just go to sleep to avoid important but tiring or unpleasant things you need to do. This type of procrastination says nothing about your personality.

Well, those are all the COMMON types of procrastinations, there are more but they're too many so I won't list them all. This ends this guide.

                                                         

  

  

Things That Should Be Invented Before I Die

Hi, people. As a teenager living in the 21st century I have a lot of,expectations on the advancement of technology to futuristic standards. Basically what I mean is I want hover boards and I want them now, motherfucker! Curse you Back To The Future, you lied to me. But anyhow here's a list of things that should  be invented before I die(hopefully that's a long time from now.). A lot of the mentioned technologies have currently been invented but they need a lot of improvements before they actually become futuristic, so I'm not counting them to be truly "invented" yet.

Virtual Reality

Who doesn't want Virtual Reality? I mean you just put on a heavy looking headset and you can be anywhere you want doing anything you want. Currently virtual reality technology sucks. The best we've come up with is Google Cardboard and Oculus Rift. Both of them are rip-offs which only offer an immersive visual experience whereas I want an experience of all senses. But it is speculated that that sort of virtual reality will come in about 20-25 years.

J.A.R.V.I.S

Yes, I want an artificial intelligence to be invented which is comparable to J.A.R.V.I.S. An intelligence which is capable of being a smart-ass and also being intensely sarcastic. I know some A.I are capable of conversation but an A.I which was like J.A.R.V.I.S would be cool.

Instant Memory Transfer Machines

Imagine machines, which could transfer one persons memories to another person. Like copying a file from one pen drive to a computers hard disk. Then, theoretically, the human race could advance at rates never known. Imagine if Stephen Hawkings transferred his memories to a baby, then the baby helped the advancement quantum physics and before the baby(now an adult) died he transferred his memories to someone else. Now this new guy gave his memories to a bunch of other people, now we would have a bunch of Stephen Hawkings(and Babies) working together for lightspeed travel or something. These machines can increase our efficiency by a lot which I think is very cool.

Smart Food

You know what would be really, really useful? Portable pills which you could have at any moment, giving you the nutrients of a full meal and the taste of all the items in the meal for a total of 30 minutes. I know people would probably get obese because of these pills, but thats their fault.

My First Post

Look, I was trying to think up for a nice title for my first post but nothing original came to me (its because other adults have already gotten their hands on the original shit and this generation is left with rip offs of the originals). But back to my first post. This is my first post if you haven't guessed yet, and might I add, if you haven't actually already noticed this is my first post you're fucking stupid.  I am a teenager who has recently decided to upload his thoughts up to the Internet so random strangers can read them. I also have a case of procrastinating paired with existentialism, which in other words means that I usually tend to lie about thinking about why I exist and shit like that. I also try to be "original" but most original things are a)copyrighted or b) just fucking stupid. I don't want to be stupid. So that's a bit about me and as I said before, this is my first post. This looks a bit plain because I'm typing from an iPad and iPads never get things right.